Island of the Dolls. Not awesome.

Here’s some nightmare fuel.The Eyes!

Someone. Took my idea. For the creepiest tourist attraction ever. I knew I should’ve mailed that shit to myself.

It’s in Mexico. The genius of that is Americans picture beaches, tequila shots and Sammy Hagar. So when you tell them there’s an “Island of the Dolls” they totally have to see. Frat boys and girls gone wild then hustle to see blow-up sex toys and American Girls, only to stand in sobering horror at what they actually find.

There are no tangerine trees or marmalade skies. “La Isla de la Munecas” is actually closer to a graveyard inspired by Gaspar Noé. Don Julian Santana and his family hermitized (hermi-tated?) themselves there mid-20th century after renouncing society. Don Julian then spent the next 50 years of his life mutilating and hanging children’s dolls.

Located on a small island in the canals of Xochimilco. This area is all that remains of what was once a giant lake (Texcoco) where Mexico City is today.

This is where child molesters go when they die; they come back as the destroyed playthings of the people they once wronged. Sort of an ironic Greek idea of Hell where the punishment fits the crime. Not just fire for everyone. (Oooooo. An insight into my personality…)

But I digress.

Speculation suggests these dolls were offerings of sorts to the spirit of a girl who allegedly drowned in the canal surrounding the place. Don Julian claimed to be tormented by this girl’s ghost. I’m sure she would’ve loved the dolls.

In double secret irony, Don Julian was found dead one day, drowned in the very same canal, in one final act of thanatopsis. The shrine lives on and remains an unusually popular tourist attraction, as far as dead baby sites go, especially among the early to middle-aged.

So, go. Visit. And take lots of pictures for Facebook. It’s the only shrine to you that will automatically live on after your death.

Bye. Thanks for...stopping by...

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posted by James on Jan.05, 2011, under kids today, you can't turn away


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