actual gadget

I’m glad to see this is still on the market…somewhere. Gag candy in a can. Because that’s how everyone eats candy. Not bars, not bags, but cans. I wonder if they make a fake box of meat, or canned bacon. Or a loaf of spaghetti. Any of these common products would be great for the spring-ing snake prank. But this company’s not even trying. “Delicious Can?” Come on. Just call it “Super Taste” or “Stomach Fill.”

Listen to reason.

10 Bizarre Sex Toys

Some of these things just make you think to yourself, oh, those crazy Japanese and their wacky products. But others remind you of Jude Law’s character in the terrible Kubrick/Speilberg abomination A.I.

One of these things is a computerized vibrator you put your lad into, and it syncs up with Windows Media Player and adjusts vibration and lube electronically! I feel like I just woke up and it’s 2010. Where were these things when I was in junior high? I might not have injured myself…quite as often.

And I did some research on the Japanese dolls, and the American version of the same product also comes with optional modifications like elf ears, blue skin, tan lines, and changeable facial expressions. I am crapping you negative.

I also foresee a few of these items showing up in police photos on the news.

robot vagina

like anime?

the gimp?

View the rest here.

A cell phone that runs on sweet liquids

just don't feed it before bedtime

No joke.

A Chinese dude made this phone that runs on sugary liquids at the request of Finnish phone-maker Nokia. Daizhi Zheng designed the phone to use enzymes that convert the sugar in any beverage poured into it to fuel for the phone. It’s supposed to last longer than current Lithium Ion batteries, which are harmful to the environment, of which we are all well aware.

My question is this: can you drink the liquid while your phone is using it? If I have a Coke, do I have to share it with my phone, or can I pour the whole thing in, and casually sip while I’m talking?

I just keep picturing those scenes from Robocop 2 where the robot designed to hunt and kill drug dealers and then consume their drugs actually got addicted to the drug and started killing innocent people.

even robots can look strung out

What happens when my phone starts waking me up in the middle up of the night, begging for more Coca-Cola? Is my phone going to hang out at busy intersections and wash people’s windows? Is my phone going to disappear and start lurking around at the bus station?

I love the environment as much as the next guy, but maybe the future should stay where it is: far away. And here’s an inconvenient truth: I don’t care about my batteries. They’re small.