colossal waste of time

I’m sure I’ll eventually hear about what happened at the end of LOST, since LOST fans NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT LOST. But come on: sometimes the show is funny. And you know it.

This is a Sawyer “Son of a bitch” montage. I don’t know if these clips are in chronological order, but I don’t care THAT much. I just hope he keeps saying it for the rest of the series. It makes him look tough.

Like a cowboy.

Relax and stroke a cat. For $10/hour

Busy or stressed out? Now you can drink coffee and work on your laptop, just like at a Starbucks, except lots of cats will be there, too.

Japanese cat cafés, like this one in Tokyo called Nekobukuro literally translated “cat sack” *snicker*, are very popular and busy business people will take breaks to come have their blood pressure lowered by petting a sleeping cat.

Sounds pretty great. The best part is someone else has to worry about the boxes of shit everywhere; the main drawback to being a crazy cat lady.

Usually, cat cafés charge around $10 an hour for the privilege of cat affection (or rejection, depending on the cats’ moods), but they’re very popular among busy Japanese who don’t have time or space to devote to pets of their own.

Incidentally, there’s also a service where you can rent a dog to play with. It’s like g-rated prostitution for people without pets. And you can quote me on that.

super mario for original gameboy

Continuing with the techno theme, here’s a rap about the narrative of Super Mario Land for the Gameboy. As if this needed…anything. Anything at all.

But, the rap’s pretty funny. It’s slightly NSFW, but only if your boss is a dick.

I remember beating this game in its original format and thinking to myself many of the issues this song brings up.

Come.

Join me on a journey into the mind.

Enjoy the song below and then go back to work. Your co-workers miss you.

This is the art of a crazy person. I doubt you’ll be seeing these in the Sunday paper next to the jumble.

Made by carefully moving individual grains of salt, Motoi Yamamoto painstakingly creates gigantic labyrinths as a way of accessing old memories deep inside his mind. He’s one of Japan’s most famous artists, and one of few (what? there’s more?) who work only with salt. He sits cross-legged for hours and hours, tracing his way through his own memories, claiming he can’t reach them until the labyrinth is complete. He also wears his deceased mother’s dirty socks and listens to John Cougar Mellencamp records. (Okay, so I made that last part up.) Here’s his site.

A former dock worker, Yamamoto believes in the cycle of life and insists that when his installations are complete, all the salt be returned to the ocean where it can continue it’s life.

Ever spill salt on the table in a restaurant, by accident or on purpose, and think to yourself, “Hey, this gives me an idea. I want to devote my life to making enormous mazes from salt that no one can solve and which will eventually make me go blind.” No. Because nobody decides their artistic medium is salt.

These photos aren’t ‘shopped. Sadly.

Now go draw something with a crayon like a regular person, and be thankful you’ve got all your marbles.

And expensive

There was a dude on my hall senior year whose door was just as completely covered from top to bottom, but with parking tickets. That’s the only clever thing I can think of that compares to this photo. Despite the logistics necessary to make the completed mosaic turn out actual size, it would cost hundreds of dollars in printer ink. Not to mention hours and hours of printing.

You just gotta hope you got the right pose, and clone stamp out those zits.