who cares

Let this video help you.

Look: I love beer as much as the next beer-lover, but who needs a video to help them? There’s not beer pairings like there is with wine. I’m sorry, video, but there’s not. There’s also no need for hot chicks to fellate beer bottles. Beer does that on it’s own. That’d be like an advertisement for chocolate in which hot dudes were rubbing it on their pecs.

Beer doesn’t need selling.  It’s beer.

This video is funny to me, and I believe it will be funny to you. The best part is at about 0:40 seconds where some chick with Bret Michaels’ old hair is smiling and sipping a beer.

Hilarious. Who she? And why? Did she ride to the shoot with her head out the car window? Were they filming on a helipad?

Anyway, pour one out for your non-creative homies. Help sell one of the few products that never needs selling.

Enjoy.

I’m glad to see this is still on the market…somewhere. Gag candy in a can. Because that’s how everyone eats candy. Not bars, not bags, but cans. I wonder if they make a fake box of meat, or canned bacon. Or a loaf of spaghetti. Any of these common products would be great for the spring-ing snake prank. But this company’s not even trying. “Delicious Can?” Come on. Just call it “Super Taste” or “Stomach Fill.”

Listen to reason.

On JACKASS it’s called “Antiqueing.”

But apparently in Spain it’s a celebrated street festival.

All the mythology and legend behind the festival has been lost to the population; kinda like St. Patrick’s Day in the US. The reason here, though, isn’t just to drink and act like a slut, it’s to make noise in the streets, beat people with sticks without repercussions, and to pelt each other with tons and tons of flour.

It takes place in the Spanish village of Xinzo de Limia in the Ourense province. Teams of six or seven Spanish dudes will dress up as “peliqueiros,” with smiling masks and colorful clothes, walking around the streets carrying sticks and wearing giant cowbells making as much noise as possible.

So it IS kinda like St. Patrick’s Day. But, again, no drunken slutting.

Goggles are strongly suggested by the municipality, even though the dude in the picture above seems to have taken the idea to it’s most ridiculous conclusion. Nobody wants flour in their eyes, but why look like John Lennon’s runty Spanish cousin?

Here’s the low-down from Wikipedia. Hope you like Spanish!

And if you don’t get the reference:

In the above article, it says the owners were “stunned” to find their cat, Sal, had been summoned for jury duty. But they listed him as a member of the household on their census.

Come on! We all love our pets. But, here’s a tip: any time you start to think your pet is different from other people’s, or you think they’re unique or smarter than other pets like them, just say to yourself, “They’re f**king pets. I bought them. They’re just possessions of mine like my coffee table or my shoes.” And you should be fine.

Now, I know this seems to be some sort of paperwork screw up, but I still feel like it could have been avoided.

Also, people get compensated when they have to miss work and go to jury duty. But do you get time off to take your cat to court? I doubt it. That’s like getting paternity leave for getting my secretary pregnant.