Tag: fail

And if you don’t get the reference:

I’m glad I found this.  I feel like it’s good to warn people about the coming end. This is the beginning of the end. I guess one could argue it may have started with Li’l Bow Wow (who recently decided he’s too “mature” for the Li’l, though not quite too mature yet to be bothered by the fact he’s still named after the sound a doggy makes).

I digress.

If someone who speaks better Spanish than me would enlighten as to what he’s saying exactly, but I swear he says something about burritos at the beginning. I also love his back-up prosti-tot dancers. Classic.

Don’t hate. Not everyone can look like the baby from the show Dinosaurs.

In the above article, it says the owners were “stunned” to find their cat, Sal, had been summoned for jury duty. But they listed him as a member of the household on their census.

Come on! We all love our pets. But, here’s a tip: any time you start to think your pet is different from other people’s, or you think they’re unique or smarter than other pets like them, just say to yourself, “They’re f**king pets. I bought them. They’re just possessions of mine like my coffee table or my shoes.” And you should be fine.

Now, I know this seems to be some sort of paperwork screw up, but I still feel like it could have been avoided.

Also, people get compensated when they have to miss work and go to jury duty. But do you get time off to take your cat to court? I doubt it. That’s like getting paternity leave for getting my secretary pregnant.

Plot comparison between Avatar and Pocahontas

Below is some astute observer’s take on the similarity between the two films. It says fail, but not sure to whom the fail duly belongs. On the part of the screen writers? Or the nation of millions who keeps watching the same things over and over.

Let me simplify a movie’s plot for you and see if you can guess the film. Ready?

It’s a typical day-in-the-life of your average Joe/Jane. They’re going about their ordinary routine when suddenly, something extraordinary happens. This new thing changes their entire perspective. They try to resume their daily lives, but this new thing won’t allow things to go back to normal. Then, they realize something about this new thing has gone horribly wrong. They try and try to fix it, but at every turn they find only failure. When they feel like they’ve reached their lowest point, they do the one thing they never thought possible of themselves, and they, and the audience learns a valuable lesson.

Sound familiar? That’s the plot of every Hollywood-produced movie ever. Try to make your favorite movie fit this mold. You’ll succeed every time.

Nice work, Matt Bateman, at failblog.org. I agree with your humble opinion. You’ve succeeded in pointing out the simple fact that 90% of America’s movie audiences are part of one gigantic fail.

pocahantas plot summary?

“Avatar is Miyazaki for meatheads.” – J. Hilgart

The Service Gator

The internet may have produced one of the best sites ever.

I’ve always wondered about taxidermy, specifically; things like, “Why keep the carcass of a dead animal in your house?” Does a deer’s head on the wall bring you fond memories that time you got up at 3am and sat in the cold for four hours with urine on your boots and gangrene on your toes?

But the idea of having an animal preserved for a humorous purpose sort of changes everything.

Although most of the poor critters on this site are squirrels, there are some actual disturbing examples of the creativity of the human mind, combined with the will of taxidermists to do things for money.

Think if you were the squirrel who invented the cure for squirrel cancer, and accidentally got run over and then preserved like this. Kinda puts your whole life in perspective.

Incidentally, if you’ve ever wondered about reincarnation, pray to whatever you pray to that it doesn’t exist. Or at least try to be a better person in life. Because I’m pretty sure if  you’re bad, you either come back as one of these poor creatures, or you come back as one of Paris Hilton’s pets. Either way, you’re stuck doing something you’d rather not.

The moral of this site is: just be nice. See the rest of the site.