Tag: gadget

Millennium Falcon Guitar Rocks Your Space Off

by James on Jul.21, 2010, under actual gadget, colossal waste of time, kids today

Artist Builds Working Millennium Falcon Electric Guitar from Vintage Star Wars Toy

Only drawback is flawed hyper drive.

The Millennium Falcon guitar. It was inevitable. I mean, look at the size of that vintage toy. Who got that for Christmas? Maybe Donald Trump’s kids get GIGANTIC models of movie toys for special occasions. Maybe Ted Turner’s kids. But seriously. I mean, look at that thing! And now, this guy ruined it by making into a guitar. RUINED! It is SO not in mint condition anymore. It has been significantly DEvalued.

Artist Travis S. has been building custom guitars with his father since he was in high school. Plus, he’s also an avid fan of the Star Wars series (hopefully just IV – VI). So, it was only natural for him to combine his two passions at some point. Because the guitar is electric, making the body out of a toy does not affect the sound. But he did have to add a maple support beam down the back of the toy so it could withstand the tension of the guitar’s strings. He’s also fitted it with blue LEDs supported by their own batteries.

I sort of hope this guitar snaps at the first strum. A guitar’s bass string pulls about 20 lbs. “If I leeeeeeave here tomorr-SNAP!” What a bastardization this is. Shameful. It would be okay if maybe this artist organized a whole band of Star Wars-looking dudes, and one guy plays a Tie-Fighter, and one guy an X-Wing, and one guy has like a gold bass made to look like those stupid Naboo ships from Episode I. The guy on the drums would have that upside-down droid who’s being branded in Jaba’s palace. Then a dude dressed like Chewbacca could be their roadie, sent to fix the hyper drive when it fails on stage.

We Americans can’t have nice things. It’s only a matter of time before someone disgraces Lord of the Rings by making bridal gowns to like clothes from Rivendell . (DOH!) Or Terminator red LED bluetooth headsets. Or Leaving Las Vegas brand vodka. The Passion of the Christ thorn hats. Little Miss Sunshine stripper outfits for girls 10 and under. Silence of the Lambs bacon.

I could go on.

Unless you’re Billy Gibbons, respect epic legends; even if they are just movies that got lucky. Or don’t. Just know you’ll be mocked on the Internet either way.

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Rap about whatever, just save the damned princess

by James on Feb.12, 2010, under colossal waste of time, kids today

super mario for original gameboy

Continuing with the techno theme, here’s a rap about the narrative of Super Mario Land for the Gameboy. As if this needed…anything. Anything at all.

But, the rap’s pretty funny. It’s slightly NSFW, but only if your boss is a dick.

I remember beating this game in its original format and thinking to myself many of the issues this song brings up.


Join me on a journey into the mind.

Enjoy the song below and then go back to work. Your co-workers miss you.

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Just when your addiction died down

by James on Feb.11, 2010, under actual gadget, kids today

The Complex gets a gut rehab

Dyslexics of the world! Untie! The old Goldeneye for Nintendo 64 gets a source code overhaul using the physics engine from Half Life 2. Bond has never looked better.

Remember the crows’ nest in the complex where you could be virtually invincible? Look how much better it looks! Remember how you’d fall asleep and all your dreams had a hand holding a gun in the foreground? Now that Klobb will look awesome!  Remember how you grew up in Texas, and therefore spoke fluent Spanish as a child but because of this game you couldn’t get even a C on a Spanish exam in college? Oh.

I feel like one of these days, a programmer is going to accidentally discover the Grand Unified Theory of Physics while programming physics engines for games. It’ll be some dude’s job to streamline 300 lines of physics algorithms into 50 lines, and he/she will accidentally reconcile Einstein’s Relativity with Quantum Mechanics. That’s how good this mod looks. They keep calling it a “source mod” on the site, but it doesn’t look source anymore.

But. Even if it had looked this good when it came out, it would still be bad form to play as Oddjob. Who throws a shoe, I mean, honestly?

Check out the site, and the trailer below. Try not to have flashbacks.

Videos & Audio – GoldenEye: Source Mod for Half-Life 2 – Mod DB

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Technology Ruins Another Pastime

by James on Feb.11, 2010, under actual gadget, kids today

the game controlled by screamingIf screaming worked on all games, I know a few gamers who’d be dead. Gnilley is an Australian game prototype where enemies are destroyed by screaming. The angrier you scream, the faster the baddies get dispatched.  Developed by Glen Forrester (a.k.a. Radix) for Sydney’s Game Jam 2010, the concept started as being about “pitch and color” but eventually dissolved into “yelling at everything.”

Some game aspects are controlled simply by the volume of your voice–walls may disappear, doors unlock–but enemies must be screamed at. And angrily.

The video demonstration below is hilarious. Wait at least until the giant rabbit boss fight at about 1:30.

Usually when I yell at games, I simply want to know “why.” WHY, GAME? How is that guy still alive! I threw a grenade right next to him!

This game will be good for people like this kid I knew in jr. high, who used to get so angry, he’d put the old NES controller brick in his mouth and bite it. Like an angry German shepherd grabbing a fleeing criminal’s arm. It was kind of astounding. He also liked to burn things.

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Ooo, Delicious Can. My Favorite.

by James on Jan.28, 2010, under actual gadget, who cares

delicious can

I’m glad to see this is still on the market…somewhere. Gag candy in a can. Because that’s how everyone eats candy. Not bars, not bags, but cans. I wonder if they make a fake box of meat, or canned bacon. Or a loaf of spaghetti. Any of these common products would be great for the spring-ing snake prank. But this company’s not even trying. “Delicious Can?” Come on. Just call it “Super Taste” or “Stomach Fill.”

Listen to reason.

Paul F. Tompkins – Old Prank
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

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