Tag: Japan

American Porisu Ruv Eat Rong Time. They so Fat!

by James on Mar.22, 2010, under kids today

click for full size

Several things to note about this picture. 1.) The Japanese in red under the title is simply the title spelled phonetically: “A-me-ri-ka-n Po-ri-su.” 2.) The setting seems to be a fast food joint, yet many actual fast food restaurants are represented. Look closely: there’s mostly McDonald’s, but also Carl’s Jr. an A&W Root Beer, and a freaking taco for Shinto’s sake. 3.) What cop puts their nightstick ON the pile of french fries while they eat? And finally: 4.) How could this be a serial magazine? “Ret’s have article and article every month-u about fat and stupid Amerikan porisu. They so fat!” It can’t be done.

And, why am I writing so racistly? Simply because the magazine is obviously racist. I’ll be in Tokyo next month. If you’re there and you have a complaint, find me and I’ll straighten you out.

With my fists, in case that wasn’t clear.

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Japanese cat cafés, a whole new way to waste your money

by James on Feb.17, 2010, under colossal waste of time, who cares

Relax and stroke a cat. For $10/hour

Busy or stressed out? Now you can drink coffee and work on your laptop, just like at a Starbucks, except lots of cats will be there, too.

Japanese cat cafés, like this one in Tokyo called Nekobukuro literally translated “cat sack” *snicker*, are very popular and busy business people will take breaks to come have their blood pressure lowered by petting a sleeping cat.

Sounds pretty great. The best part is someone else has to worry about the boxes of shit everywhere; the main drawback to being a crazy cat lady.

Usually, cat cafés charge around $10 an hour for the privilege of cat affection (or rejection, depending on the cats’ moods), but they’re very popular among busy Japanese who don’t have time or space to devote to pets of their own.

Incidentally, there’s also a service where you can rent a dog to play with. It’s like g-rated prostitution for people without pets. And you can quote me on that.



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Salt Labyrinths, where bad ants go when they die

by James on Feb.10, 2010, under colossal waste of time

This is the art of a crazy person. I doubt you’ll be seeing these in the Sunday paper next to the jumble.

Made by carefully moving individual grains of salt, Motoi Yamamoto painstakingly creates gigantic labyrinths as a way of accessing old memories deep inside his mind. He’s one of Japan’s most famous artists, and one of few (what? there’s more?) who work only with salt. He sits cross-legged for hours and hours, tracing his way through his own memories, claiming he can’t reach them until the labyrinth is complete. He also wears his deceased mother’s dirty socks and listens to John Cougar Mellencamp records. (Okay, so I made that last part up.) Here’s his site.

A former dock worker, Yamamoto believes in the cycle of life and insists that when his installations are complete, all the salt be returned to the ocean where it can continue it’s life.

Ever spill salt on the table in a restaurant, by accident or on purpose, and think to yourself, “Hey, this gives me an idea. I want to devote my life to making enormous mazes from salt that no one can solve and which will eventually make me go blind.” No. Because nobody decides their artistic medium is salt.

These photos aren’t ‘shopped. Sadly.

Now go draw something with a crayon like a regular person, and be thankful you’ve got all your marbles.

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